I know the original format for this blog was to be about online dating. I haven't given up on it quite yet. I just have had other dating ventures to explore. Look at you being all curious. That's another post!
I just want to explore a few things I've seen on profiles that are a bit alarming. To let these seemingly well-meaning guys save face, I won't link their profiles. That's just cruel! That being said, here are what I consider the top three worst offenses.
1. The shirtless cell phone self-portrait
2. The overuse of lines such as "I'm not a douchebag" or worse, "I only look like a douchebag"
3. Sending the wink, message, AND Instant Message in one day
Ok, I understand that a huge part of online dating is looks. But don't make your main profile picture one of you in your dirty bathroom shirtless. It screams narcissm. And that you need to tidy up a bit. No girl wants to use your bathroom and see nail clippings in your sink. In the end, girls want someone to take care of them, whether it's in the sack or on a date. We want to take care of you too, but it can't ALL be about you! Am I being cynical again? If you saw the other three shirtless pics on this one guy's profile you wouldn't argue with me. Then again, he is kinda pretty...
Guys, if you have to explain to ladies that you're not a douchebag, chances are you've been reminded by enough people that you *are* in fact a douchebag. Let your date make that call before telling the Internet! One guy's profile had him in his orange tan glory double-fisting two drinks, with the duck face, spikey hair, shirt mostly unbuttoned, and chest hair ahoy. His opening line? I AM NOT A DOUCHEBAG! I JUST DRESS LIKE ONE.
...wait, so that's what you open with? Not, "I really want to find a girl who gets me" at least? First impressions are everything! Once again men, consider your main profile picture! What do you want women to take away from it? There is a huge difference between "I'm a guy who likes to have fun" and "I can outdrink your friends."
Finally, the overly excited guys. Listen, at least give me five minutes to consider looking at your profile before sending me more messages! One guy, who seemed like a nice respectable male, sent me a wink. I saw my email notification and thought maybe I'll check it out later. Not a priority. Less than a minute later, I get an email stating that the same guy sent me a message. Since he was all antsy in the pantsy, I logged into my profile. No less than a minute later he IM's me!
Look, I'm glad that you think I'm awesome (because let's face it. I am!) but give a girl some room to breathe! Girls enjoy the chase, but it's not a chase if you don't give us time to run away a bit.
The most important thing you can do on your profile is clearly state your intentions and who you are. While the pictures do most of the talking, you need back-up to let your potential wooers know what they're getting into with you!
So men, if I have any men readers, take this all into consideration. Because no girl wants her first date to involve scraping spray tan off her outfit, saving you from another shot, and hearing you explain the origins of your six pack.
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