Online Dating Profiles: Interviewing for your Company

If you were to ask me what the most painful part of starting the online dating process was, I'd have to say completing the damn profile.

Let's go back to grade school for a minute. Your teacher gives you an assignment in which you must write an essay about yourself. No problem, right? But you have to complete it in one page, include varied interests, and validate why they matter. One page?

Welcome to creating an online dating profile!

I'm going to spare the details of what I put in mine. Instead, I will embarrass faceless users who I've screened online. We have:

- The "gives you why he's always single" guy
- The "I'm your Romeo" guy
- The "I will treat you right, if you know what I mean" guy
- The "here's my entire life story" guy

In my humble opinion, who you are is something I'm going to find out should I decide to go on a date with you. Granted, it's the biggest part of the profile. This takes me back to college where you were learning how to write entry-level resumes. Interviewers only need to read your one-line objective to know whether or not to trust you saying the company name. On this site I'm using (sparingly now, but that's another entry), the smallest box is the one that asks "What Would you do on the First Date?"

You guys, we screw this up royally. While you can slap on a nice suit and tie, practice interview etiquette, and list your numerous achievements all you want, you can ultimately blow it when your interviewer asks "What can you do for the company?"

I'd be vacationing in Ibiza if I had a dollar for each answer that was "dinner and a movie." Don't misunderstand me here; a girl's gotta eat, and a free meal is a free meal. But there is a reason women like me go on these sites: for something new. Listen MrReelNiceGuy69: try harder. Not only that, but the reason I'm meeting you is to get to know you. I'm going out of my comfort zone to see who is out there. I can't possibly get to know you while watching a serious plot unfold on the big screen. I can casually observe your popcorn etiquette, and judge whether or not you have fresh hands that want to play. But why blow a date like that? (Ed. note: I need more interesting things to blog. Don't completely ruin it for me).

I've seen the other end of the spectrum too. "Dinner at my place." What that really tells me is that you want me to search every government database for your first and last name to see if I'm safe in your company. I do a background check of sorts before each date. You better believe that the suggestion of dinner at your place gets you checked out quicker! I am not dessert! Cynical? I like to call it rightfully defensive.

So after a couple of weeks of viewing profile after uninteresting or psychologically unsound profile, I would find a gem every now and again. No sarcasm, I really did start some conversations with men who seemed worth a second interview. Some would decline, which is more than fine. I made it clear my time is valuable. Wouldn't yours if you were interviewing for a high-ranking company? Others, well, they blew it with a few choice words. FYI if I have any male readers: Saying "Hey Sexy" the next day after our initial conversation is creepy. Don't do it.

But I started talking to someone on a quiet, unassuming Sunday morning. Then in the afternoon. Then at night, he wanted my number, which I was fine with. He seemed worth a second interview. I was quite pleased with the result, and decided he would be a great fit.

Welcome aboard.