The Beats that Move Us

My father always said this growing up. No news is good news. And it's true. Things with CSB have been quite amazing. This isn't going to be one of those intense, extremely wordy posts (maybe) where I analyze every last minutia of my relationship and dating CSB. No, this is simply to say I'm absolutely thrilled and in love. And anyone who's ever felt this way can write their own story here after reading my own. You know what? I lied; I'm totally going to ramble on because it's good to be in love.

I've had some conflicted feelings regarding my career status, and just to spare him from constant complaining, I almost never bring it up with him. Yet in his charming naivete, he asks me "why aren't you working in your field? You have a degree." Oh honey...it's not that easy! I have to remind myself that he spent 10 years in the Navy, and had job security that most would only dream of, especially in this economy. The whole point I'm driving at is this: he believes in me. He gazes into my eyes and encourages me to better myself and to not settle for anything less than what I want. Then it dawned on me: I am slowly reaching a point where I can do this in a relationship...so I should apply this to other facets in my life! He is handsome as he is smart. And like a typical man, he reaches out to offer a solution to a problem I have either never discussed or realized I had. In return, he looks to me to help him better himself. The other night I helped him restructure an annotated bibliography in MLA format. It's been six years since I've attempted to do this. But I took the time to reeducate myself so I can help him achieve the grades he desires.

There's so much to be said about the last month (!) I've spent with him. My mother had a bit of an accident and he talked to me into the daylight hours of Christmas making sure that I was fine.  I have worked insane hours this month, and all I wanted was a bowl of spaghetti. Tonight, after weeks of wanting some, he took me out to dinner. All of these things should be expected, right? Well, I'm still getting used to it. It's a change of pace to have a man pay attention to the little things, especially since I have always seemed to be the only one who paid attention to the minor details.. And all the while, I'm amazed because our schedules are drastically different since he started school again. He works early hours and goes to class at night. Like a hardworking student, he does homework when he's not at work or at school. I work a typical 9-5 and am lucky if I see him after class. Not to mention my fire troupe has been picking up business, so practice and shows are challenging and often. But he makes that time for me. What a wonderful change of pace.

We spend hours talking about music. I know I'm encroaching on cheesy territory here, but music really unites people in ways we don't think we can without it. Almost like saying good morning, I send him a YouTube video of a song I think he'd like. In return, we stay up till 2 in the morning, watching videos on his laptop, exploring new music together. What's more fascinating for me is that he automatically saves the song I show him, and talks to me about how he found more of the same he liked the next day. One night we played pool...well, he played pool and I just handled a cue stick like a fool. After a long set where I naturally won by default, he pulled out a $5 bill out of his pocket and said "let's play on the jukebox." And we had very similar tastes. We laughed at our choices and told stories about the songs we chose. And to cap it off, he ends our set with "I Touch Myself" because why not.

This is the man I'm falling in love with. The man who makes me laugh so loud in a restaurant that people stare, which makes him laugh harder. Let me remind you...his laugh is not cute! The man who texts me binary jokes (There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't.) so he can remember his IT homework. The man who checks in with me to tell me how much he's accomplished that day. The man who is excited at the idea that I have a job opportunity. The man who is excited to tell his friends he's dating a belly dancer. The man who wants me to teach him piano while he teaches me chess in return. The man who I can honestly say can turn my day around because I remember all of these things.

I can't think of anyone else I can have a conversation with about Yo Yo Ma's version of Elgar's cello concerto, and how much the 1st movement took my breath away. And in response, he shows me an opera from Hannibal that he thoroughly enjoyed. All of this followed by conversations of what we love about motorcycles.

In a previous post I talked about how sometimes dating someone can be a mundane series of events. This is not what it is, nor is it what I hope it turns out to be. This is a series of adventures full of stories I look forward to telling anyone who will listen. There is a passion with him that is difficult to explain sometimes. What we share is more than physical. The physical passion is just that much better because of the conversation, the coffee, the music...

I started this post with La Valse d'Amelie in my head and am finishing it with Elgar. I want to relive these moments with CSB. And it's silly and foolish because at this rate I won't have to; we will keep creating them. When was the last time someone came into your life and inspired you so much that you had to write about it?

And to think it started with a cup of Irish coffee, a magician, and a playing card.

World...I introduce to you, Coffee Shop Boy

I may have met my goofy match. Maybe. At least it's fun for now. I still don't know where this is going, but if there's more of this, I really won't complain.

All The Fun Stuff Happens After Midnight

Let's face it: even if this never develops, I will forever have this story about me and Coffee Shop Boy. And it's a good story! And here's the thing about good stories: the more they're retold, the more legendary they get.

I was out on a Saturday night, celebrating a friend's birthday...after celebrating another friend's birthday earlier in the day. I assure you, I was extremely tired. So after a few drinks to celebrate another joyous year, I decided it was definitely time to go home. I left the bar and started to walk towards my car. I parked a around the corner from the coffee shop. It was a lovely brisk night, and decided to grab a cup of coffee to go. Needed to warm my body and wake up a bit. I literally reach into my left pocket of my red trench coat when all of a sudden, I felt a buzz.

Who in the world would text me at midnight? Could it be? It was! It was Coffee Shop Boy! I was quite surprised...and all of a sudden not so tired. He asked what I was doing. Oh nothing. Just busy not being tired in the off chance you want to see me. And guess what? He did! He rode his beautiful Triumph from the other side of town to spend some time together. My caramel mocha wasn't calming my nerves or warming me up fast enough. So there I sat, for 15 minutes, enjoying a warm cup filling in my friends on the news of the evening. A million puppies couldn't encourage anymore squees than this news. Good thing I looked cute that night. With the exception of my heel on my boot being broken (which he politely and supposedly didn't notice until I brought it up), I was wearing a red trench coat, a floral skirt, and a turtleneck. Also, I had great hair. Everything was truly coming up roses.

Then there he was, one headlight flashing at me as I sat outside. Like a movie, he removed my helmet and suggested we have a drink or two with him. I really couldn't say anything about that being a bold statement. I'm the one who made a magician give him my phone number, after all. A drink at midnight with a complete stranger? Why not? At that moment, I felt my old, Asian mother yelling in my ear...something about strangers, only bad things happening at midnight, and all. But for some reason, it was okay. I truly believed I wouldn't end up in a ditch somewhere being mistaken for a mannequin.

He didn't have another helmet (which made me sad) so I followed him to a bar I've never been to before. He was even kind enough to wait for me after he ran a yellow light. I drive a car full of German engineering. He seriously underestimates me. So we enter this club where house music is playing. So far so good. I feel kind of foolish though, looking more polished than usual while everyone looks comfortable in club gear. I don't usually look this put together. In fact, my lack of leather and studs made me feel slightly naked. He orders me a Jaeger and Red Bull (no, he didn't ask if I drank Jaeger). I was shocked at his choice, but decided to go with it. What did I have to lose? I drove myself there and could leave if it got terrible. And then the real talk began.

Me: So I didn't scare you by way of magic tricks?
CSB: I was really impressed! I was in a seriously bad mood that day. My ex came in the shop, which was weird, and it made it worse. Next thing I know Andy is walking up to me saying he had to show me a trick.And somehow I have a girl's number in my hand. I failed the online math quiz I was working on three times because I've thought about you all night!
Me: Wow. Well I kind of figured at best you'd be flattered. I was scared to go through with it!
CSB: I'm glad you did though. You're cute. I was looking for you, but you left.

Cue this scene in my head.

I started laughing a little bit. I admitted I ran away just in case. I guess that added to my charm. But let's face it: most people would run away after simply thinking about being so bold to talk to a boy. I definitely needed to run away after going through with it! Now I'm the one who's flattered. More than anything, I was glad that he knew who I was after Andy mentioned a dark-haired girl who played with fire. Here's a tip: We're pretty much all brunettes.

We chatted over another drink. But it flowed naturally. And luckily for me, it was a cold night. He kept putting his hands on my face to warm them up. And eventually his nose on my neck. Have mercy...Oh, don't worry kids. I told him my boundaries. I called him out on being fresh. In fact, I think he might have liked it. He also introduced me to the bouncer who is also his friend. He was this short, troll-looking man with odd piercings and tattoos. Between magicians, fire friends, odd bouncers, and house music, I was feeling at home.

That night, I learned that CSB spent ten years in the Navy, did something involving ratios, is great at math (with the exception of the time I made him fail his math quiz), and has traveled all over the world, worked on planes in spite of having a fear of heights. He also owned two homes, and rents one of them out to some friends and is going to school for IT. What's that? Ten years? So how old is he? I'm 26...he's 33. So does age matter? Not when you're having fun! If he's not worrying about it, I won't either. After two drinks, he grabs my hand.

CSB: Let's go to Kickbacks.

This experience of being adventurous is very different on the other end. I'm usually the one prefacing every conversation with "I have an idea" or "Let's go on an adventure." This guy isn't prefacing anything. He's making me live it with him.

We showed up less than five minutes until the kitchen close and he randomly ordered us chili cheese fries. He unwrapped the silverware for me, and placed it neatly on my right side. Every now and then he would try to warm his nose. It was sweet. And throughout the night, I was glad I had great hair. He couldn't stop playing with it. Ladies, unless he's a creeper, you KNOW we love when men play with our hair. Every time I would pull it up, he'd pull out my hair tie. He said it looks much better down. Wow. How did we even get to this point, I wondered. So we chatted over some overly saturated fried food, and then it hit me:

It was almost 4 in the morning, and everything about this random date felt natural. He didn't try to get me in bed at this hour and I'd venture to say we both didn't want the evening to end. Still, he knew I was tired, grabbed my hand and helped me off a high-top stool. He lived around the corner from the late-night dinner, so we walked to his place where I parked my car. We hugged and said good night. He asked me to let him know when I got home. I couldn't stop smiling. I thanked him for everything. He took care of me that night...as much as one could be taken care of at midnight by taking a chance with a total stranger.

Once again, I proved to thine own self be true: I defied convention. Instead of thumbing through a catalog of random, uninteresting men online, meeting for drinks and forced conversation, I decided to take a huge risk and carve a dent into my destiny. Look, I don't know where this is going. But I like it anyway. Kerrie was right: trust your gut and you'll never fail.

Well, look at this...he still has my hair tie. And his nose is cold. I guess we're both fixing this problem very soon.

I have big hopes to hold on tight on a wintery evening.

Woah, What's that Noise?

*Pop*


That would be my dating cherry popping! Apologies for the visual, but can you blame me for being able to barely contain my excitement? I had my first official date. For once in my life I attempted time with the opposite sex in a linear fashion. Not that kind of fashion, silly. I'm talking about how this time around, I didn't claim a relationship, followed by maybe hanging out, and finally ending with the fall out. I don't claim to be traditional, but I can't be unconventional all the time. It's exhausting! 

Yes, it was one of the Few Good Men that I have talked about in previous posts. It was a totally new experience for me. That statement to me is just so sad. It's very evident that I haven't been properly treated before. It's a tough pill to swallow!

So he picked me up, we went to dinner, had a couple drinks, watched the bartenders kick us out with their eyes, and watched TV at my place. And he acted like a total gentleman. If he was trying to impress me, it worked. From refilling my water, to opening the car door for me, to engaging in conversation with me, it was a really great first date.

A girl can totally get used to this!

So how did this even happen? It's a funny story, really. Brace yourselves.

I knew this guy in high school. Our paths crossed once in a while since we both took similar classes. We had mutual friends but for the most part we didn't really hang out with each other. It had been seven years since we last spoke. And that was because of a life-changing car accident that could have potentially taken his life. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have spoken to him until our ten-year high school reunion. Frankly, he was extremely lucky to have survived and be in optimal health.

He was always a kind person, and I wouldn't wish that kind of tragedy on my worst enemy. To me, it felt like a sign to talk to him again. We met up with a few of his friends and we caught up. Shortly after, he asked to spend a day with me. Sadly, the timing was terrible.

I was trying to patch things up with my ex, and we ended up getting back together. I thought about what would have happened if I said yes. Did I regret my decision? Let's just say that timing is everything, and I was upset that his timing was terrible. Who knew after one year we'd get a chance to try it again?

It's a wonderful transition. Less than a few weeks in, I was ready to give up on online dating. All I wanted to believe in is that there is still that possibility that something organic could happen. And now something has been planted when I've least expected it. Look, I don't know where it will go but if we keep wanting to spend this much time with each other without any sort of pressure, commital or sexual, I think there is promise.

For all of you single ladies out there, I hope that my story has given you some glimmer of hope. I know the concept of dating alone can be an uphill battle. When you add the Internet to the mix, it truly feels like there's no chance of reaching the top of the mountain. I don't want to sound like a sappy Nicholas Sparks novel, but these kind of experiences happen when you least expect them to. There is so much truth to that cliche! So definitely keep an open mind and be in tune to your surroundings. You'll be surprised at who is paying attention.

So where exactly is all this going?

Date #3!