"You Need a Man, Not a Boy"

So says Mindy Kaling, better known as Kelly Kapoor on NBC's The Office.

My best friend and room mate peeked into my recent issue of Glamour Magazine and pointed out the excerpt from Kaling's upcoming book, "Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)."  My best friend was convinced that I could have written this portion of her memoir. And perhaps, I may even be living it. The Amazon.com review says that this book features "a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood, with several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls."

I adore Ms. Kaling. She describes herself as a bit of an anti-hero for giving advice. She says, " I’m not married, I frequently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dollars, and... I’m kind of a mess." But she's accomplished her goals of being an actress and a writer, which gave her the confidence to tell women everywhere that dating men isn't a terrible thing. In fact, she equates it to freshly ground peanut butter. Where is this woman and why aren't we chatting via email?

You guessed it, I was sold.

I have always been a sucker for celebrity memoirs. Who else could have such wonderful and absurd observations of life? I've found that those who write memoirs do so for people like me: The curious, the observant, the zest-for-lifers.

So I started to read what Mindy had to say. Kaling mentioned something about being scared shitless of men. Why? Well, because men know what they want. They're strategists. They own watches and actually look at theml. Basically they were everything that Kaling felt she was not. But haven't we all been there?

I've been asked about what I look for in a man. Lately, especially after a few bad dates, I've learned that what I want is rather simple: a funny man who treats me well and has his shit together. Looks don't totally matter, but I'd be lying if I said they didn't bear some importance. You're only so much of a good man till I see your double chin...s.I'm not saying I have everything together at 26. However, I'd love to spend some time with people who look clever enough to be living like a real grown-up! I write this as I stare at my Hello Kitty metal lunchbox. Clearly, being a responsible adult is a clever disguise for me.

I could totally relate to Mindy. She claimed that up until she was 30, all she was dating were boys. What's her definition of boys?

Boys can pack up their whole life and move to Brooklyn for a gig if they need to. Boys have “gigs.” Boys are broke. And when they do have money, they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival.

Here's where I run into the issue of finding a man with a sense of adventure. Most guys who are adventurous are broke as a result of their excursions. Beer festivals aren't cheap, ladies. She goes on to talk about a the first "real man" she dated at 25. I'm tickled by the fact that she gave him the code name of Peter Parker. Spiderman's alter ego was apparently this intimidating, condescending jerk who, like most males out there, dishes out unsolicited advice.

SIDENOTE: If I have any male readers, please listen. When a lady wants to vent to you, you just sit there and listen. Don't offer to fix things because that's what she wants her best friend to do. You stand there, give her a drink, look pretty, hug her, tell her she's pretty, and you'll have the most effortless time dealing with her nonsense. Do we like to admit this? No. But men, I just saved you half an hour of listening to her pointless and painful crying and yelling, and spared you the risk of being at fault for her silly, girly emotions.

Back to the awesomeness that is Mindy Kaling.

She went on to say that while he was a jerk, she admired that he didn't shy away from commitment. Here's where I really started to want to read on. She assured me, the curious reader, that this isn't one of those books where she's going to vent about men and their fear and lack of commitment. Instead, she says that she admires that Parker, and other men, commit to things. She "wants a man who is entrenched in his own life." Wow...never thought of it that way. But I suppose it goes with what people have always said. You can't love another until you love yourself. The same can be said for commitment. If one can't commit to any one thing, who's to say that he or she can't commit to you and your needs?

But that's what makes this experience with Coffee Shop Boy so endearing. While I did give him the simple moniker of Coffee Shop Boy, he's pretty much a man. He is committed to buying a house. Two even! He owns his car and his motorcycle. He dresses well and does his homework at a coffee shop on his laptop, refusing to be swayed by the activity all around him. He won't even let the almighty Internet take him off task! That's right. I peeked over his shoulder a few times the nights I saw him. Not once did he check YouTube or Facebook for any nonsense. I found it rather attractive.

I'm curious to read about what else Ms. Kaling has to say about men and dating. I truly am at the point in my life where I'm ready to find a man who wants to take care of me, and who will let me take care of him too. I'm not going to go all domestic diva on him, but I look forward to the day when I help him decide if that sock really is black or blue. I want to learn how to tie his tie, so I can do it for him before he goes to work. All the while, I hope to explore life's little adventures, knowing that I can share them with the man who's grateful I helped him figure out if he chose the right colored socks.

"Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me (And Other Concerns)" will be available nationwide and online on November 1st. Here is the link to read the post on Glamour.com. You can also pick up the November issue at retailers everywhere.