All The Fun Stuff Happens After Midnight

Let's face it: even if this never develops, I will forever have this story about me and Coffee Shop Boy. And it's a good story! And here's the thing about good stories: the more they're retold, the more legendary they get.

I was out on a Saturday night, celebrating a friend's birthday...after celebrating another friend's birthday earlier in the day. I assure you, I was extremely tired. So after a few drinks to celebrate another joyous year, I decided it was definitely time to go home. I left the bar and started to walk towards my car. I parked a around the corner from the coffee shop. It was a lovely brisk night, and decided to grab a cup of coffee to go. Needed to warm my body and wake up a bit. I literally reach into my left pocket of my red trench coat when all of a sudden, I felt a buzz.

Who in the world would text me at midnight? Could it be? It was! It was Coffee Shop Boy! I was quite surprised...and all of a sudden not so tired. He asked what I was doing. Oh nothing. Just busy not being tired in the off chance you want to see me. And guess what? He did! He rode his beautiful Triumph from the other side of town to spend some time together. My caramel mocha wasn't calming my nerves or warming me up fast enough. So there I sat, for 15 minutes, enjoying a warm cup filling in my friends on the news of the evening. A million puppies couldn't encourage anymore squees than this news. Good thing I looked cute that night. With the exception of my heel on my boot being broken (which he politely and supposedly didn't notice until I brought it up), I was wearing a red trench coat, a floral skirt, and a turtleneck. Also, I had great hair. Everything was truly coming up roses.

Then there he was, one headlight flashing at me as I sat outside. Like a movie, he removed my helmet and suggested we have a drink or two with him. I really couldn't say anything about that being a bold statement. I'm the one who made a magician give him my phone number, after all. A drink at midnight with a complete stranger? Why not? At that moment, I felt my old, Asian mother yelling in my ear...something about strangers, only bad things happening at midnight, and all. But for some reason, it was okay. I truly believed I wouldn't end up in a ditch somewhere being mistaken for a mannequin.

He didn't have another helmet (which made me sad) so I followed him to a bar I've never been to before. He was even kind enough to wait for me after he ran a yellow light. I drive a car full of German engineering. He seriously underestimates me. So we enter this club where house music is playing. So far so good. I feel kind of foolish though, looking more polished than usual while everyone looks comfortable in club gear. I don't usually look this put together. In fact, my lack of leather and studs made me feel slightly naked. He orders me a Jaeger and Red Bull (no, he didn't ask if I drank Jaeger). I was shocked at his choice, but decided to go with it. What did I have to lose? I drove myself there and could leave if it got terrible. And then the real talk began.

Me: So I didn't scare you by way of magic tricks?
CSB: I was really impressed! I was in a seriously bad mood that day. My ex came in the shop, which was weird, and it made it worse. Next thing I know Andy is walking up to me saying he had to show me a trick.And somehow I have a girl's number in my hand. I failed the online math quiz I was working on three times because I've thought about you all night!
Me: Wow. Well I kind of figured at best you'd be flattered. I was scared to go through with it!
CSB: I'm glad you did though. You're cute. I was looking for you, but you left.

Cue this scene in my head.

I started laughing a little bit. I admitted I ran away just in case. I guess that added to my charm. But let's face it: most people would run away after simply thinking about being so bold to talk to a boy. I definitely needed to run away after going through with it! Now I'm the one who's flattered. More than anything, I was glad that he knew who I was after Andy mentioned a dark-haired girl who played with fire. Here's a tip: We're pretty much all brunettes.

We chatted over another drink. But it flowed naturally. And luckily for me, it was a cold night. He kept putting his hands on my face to warm them up. And eventually his nose on my neck. Have mercy...Oh, don't worry kids. I told him my boundaries. I called him out on being fresh. In fact, I think he might have liked it. He also introduced me to the bouncer who is also his friend. He was this short, troll-looking man with odd piercings and tattoos. Between magicians, fire friends, odd bouncers, and house music, I was feeling at home.

That night, I learned that CSB spent ten years in the Navy, did something involving ratios, is great at math (with the exception of the time I made him fail his math quiz), and has traveled all over the world, worked on planes in spite of having a fear of heights. He also owned two homes, and rents one of them out to some friends and is going to school for IT. What's that? Ten years? So how old is he? I'm 26...he's 33. So does age matter? Not when you're having fun! If he's not worrying about it, I won't either. After two drinks, he grabs my hand.

CSB: Let's go to Kickbacks.

This experience of being adventurous is very different on the other end. I'm usually the one prefacing every conversation with "I have an idea" or "Let's go on an adventure." This guy isn't prefacing anything. He's making me live it with him.

We showed up less than five minutes until the kitchen close and he randomly ordered us chili cheese fries. He unwrapped the silverware for me, and placed it neatly on my right side. Every now and then he would try to warm his nose. It was sweet. And throughout the night, I was glad I had great hair. He couldn't stop playing with it. Ladies, unless he's a creeper, you KNOW we love when men play with our hair. Every time I would pull it up, he'd pull out my hair tie. He said it looks much better down. Wow. How did we even get to this point, I wondered. So we chatted over some overly saturated fried food, and then it hit me:

It was almost 4 in the morning, and everything about this random date felt natural. He didn't try to get me in bed at this hour and I'd venture to say we both didn't want the evening to end. Still, he knew I was tired, grabbed my hand and helped me off a high-top stool. He lived around the corner from the late-night dinner, so we walked to his place where I parked my car. We hugged and said good night. He asked me to let him know when I got home. I couldn't stop smiling. I thanked him for everything. He took care of me that night...as much as one could be taken care of at midnight by taking a chance with a total stranger.

Once again, I proved to thine own self be true: I defied convention. Instead of thumbing through a catalog of random, uninteresting men online, meeting for drinks and forced conversation, I decided to take a huge risk and carve a dent into my destiny. Look, I don't know where this is going. But I like it anyway. Kerrie was right: trust your gut and you'll never fail.

Well, look at this...he still has my hair tie. And his nose is cold. I guess we're both fixing this problem very soon.

I have big hopes to hold on tight on a wintery evening.

Coffee Shops are Where the Magic Really Happens

I joked the other day that if I were a Playboy Centerfold, my bio sheet (yes, they really have those) would read "Bakes cupcakes, plays with fire, loves people watching, and defies convention."

Unless you're new to my blog, you understand that bad things happen when I try to date the normal way. When me and OGM started to date, it was nice because there were very little strings attached. It felt easy. That was also a problem. He didn't challenge me. He didn't leave me wanting more. That is, until he said he was leaving. You know what they say: You always want what you can't have.

So what, you ask, do coffee shops have to do with any of this? Well, this is a typical first date for many people. At best, you enjoy a good cup of coffee and conversation, along with ample people watching. At worst, you only spent $3.50 for a half-hour date that would've been worse had dinner been involved. For me, I've lived and seen all of these events. But I assure you, my coffee shop was much different than the your fancy la-ti-da coffee house that happen to be on every corner.

First of all, I am a fire performer who has done shows in front of the shop. There were LARPers who would meet once a week to continue a storyline. And the list of regulars reads like a very famous Billy Joel song. We frequently saw Frank the cop. The Foursquare Mayor was always in the house. Raven cruised by on his bicycle, clearly identified by his face tattoo. And most important to this whole story, Andy the Magician. Andy is one of those people I will always hold dear to my heart. It's difficult to find men with many stories to tell, salted and peppered with jokes, fatherly love, and sealed with magic. Andy is this man.

One recent evening, I was out on rollerblades testing them for fire tricks (for curious minds, it was not going well). I know Coffee Shop Boy rides a motorcycle: a beautiful orange Triumph. I know enough about bikes to get by in a conversation! I was skating towards him because traffic was not being kind. I finally found a free space. Sadly, so did he. He pulled in front of me, while I stumbled like a fool over rollerblades...and eventually my words.

Coffee Shop Boy: So you going to try it with fire?
Me: NOBUTIHAVEBEENCONSIDERINGIT

He smiled and walked inside to order a cup. I painstakingly pulled off the blades of shame, and hobbled over to my fellow fire friend. I complained about wanting to talk to him, but not knowing how. She shrugged, and honestly I can't blame her apathetic or unknowing reaction. Girl's married to the man who's been in her life for almost 10 years. One thing you'll learn as a single girl: Asking dating advice from people who've been with someone forever or who are married is just a waste of time. They're just as out of practice as you are. Hence, why trusting one's gut is the way to go. But we're getting there...

I saw Andy chatting with a few of his friends, gingerly playing with a deck of cards. This was a moment that most screenwriters want to capture. I inhaled sharply, eyes widened and told my friend I am going to have Andy perform a magic trick so that guy can have my number.

She, of course, stared because this is simply foreign to her. It's okay; I don't think anyone really knows how to properly make a pass at someone without fear of shame or rejection. I was going to win or fail guns a'blazing! My friend, Dave calmed my nerves and assured me with the following conversation:
"Either way you win. You grew the pair to do such a thing, so even if it doesn't work out, you've proven that you could do it. And if he's not flattered, like most men would be, he doesn't deserve you."

So I sighed, my heart pounding. I wasn't sure at this point if it was because of my nerves or because of the caffeine. But I skipped up to Andy and asked him a "silly question": can he do the card transfer trick so I can give CSB my phone number. Andy told me he would be honored, especially since he hasn't been asked to play cupid for awhile. He had my write my phone number on a blank card and explained he would do a transfer trick in which his name on a separate card and my phone number on a different card would combine. After I saw him walk towards him to perform this trick, a few things crossed my mind: Run, run fast, hide, and finally question what in God's name I just did.


At this point, my friends were outside laughing with me stating they'd never have the guts to do that. It's okay, I said. I'm used to working in extremes. I swear at that point I needed to run away. What if he isn't flattered? What if he finds out who I am and thinks no thanks? So many fears crossed my mind. Finally, I see Andy open the door, crouched over, taking long strides my way. Oh no, I thought. That's the "I have bad news" sulk.

Miraculously, he lifted his head, and a smile stretched his bushy mustache. With two hands giving me the signs for hang loose, he said, "He digs it!" I couldn't be any happier to hug an old Vietnam vet at that point. Andy said CSB was amazed with the trick and the fact that some girl would go that far to get his attention. And Andy, in his wonderful fatherly voice told him: "Hmm. Seems like you have a card now with the one girl's number in this whole entire coffee shop. So...you gonna call her?" And he said yes!

At this point I was hyperventilating like a silly school girl. Suddenly, a buzz in my left jacket pocket. Color me impressed! That was amazing :)

What's the lesson? Take a risk. You'll never know what will happen. Don't get me wrong. I still ran away to my car with a cheeky smile the whole drive home. I did that, I thought. Damn right I did that! To make this story even better, my fire friend's husband got a bag from his car from a recent trip they took to New Orleans. They found me a voodoo doll. For what? To help me find a good man. What impeccable timing. 

So what happens next? Questions of age and proper dating protocol. Let's just say midnight dates with someone you barely know aren't such a terrible thing.

Been Busy Not Dating

Every once in awhile when you're a single girl, you hear the phrase "It'll happen when you least expect it." I'm here to tell you that sometimes it's okay to give your destiny a little boost.

I went through a little slump. I dated another guy I met online. He was another sailor who was 23-years-old and worked on planes. And he was just as awkward. I was completely ready to give up on dating the minute he corrected the bartender on his beer knowledge AND fully admitted to cooking rabbit regularly. Ladies and gentleman: there are many things to not disclose on a first date. These are a few of them. Seriously, There are other ways to impress me. Humility and not cooking cute animals, for example. I was losing hope, especially since this was less than 15 minutes into our beer date. Thank God for good beer...

Luckily I've had other hobbies to distract me. I was growing weary of crying to God in my car, wondering why if I'm so great as people make me out to be, I'm still resorting to online dating and meeting weirdos. I know. I definitely just answered my own question there. The whole experience is exhausting. Like Audrey Hepburn said, "I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it."

Don't get me wrong. I am fully capable of being by myself and creating my own happiness, but I'm at the point in my life where I really want to share life's simple adventures with a wonderful man. And honestly, unless I really think outside the box, I'm not going to meet him. I just want a man to help me pick out paint samples and bake cupcakes for after we argue whether or not it's eggshell or ivory. Isn't that every girl's dream?!

Not going to lie, it gets kind of exhausting having the following conversation:

Well-intentioned human being: Oh wow, Jax Single Girl. Where's your boyfriend?
Me: What boyfriend?
Flustered well-intentioned human being: Oh, I was wondering where he was because I never see him!
Me: That's because there is no boyfriend.
Simply embarrassed individual: Oh...hope this wasn't awkward
Me: Not in the least.

As a result of my recent misadventures and awkward conversations, I've become the kind of girl who throws herself into a project. I've learned that when you're passionate about something, it can heighten your senses. That's right, baby. I was back in the jungle! And I also learned that when you're a regular somewhere, you see the same people over and over again, but by casually observing them, you learn something new about that place, the person, and even yourself.

Lately, for some reason, I was noticing this quiet, focused guy on his laptop. There are always many people on laptops farting around at coffee shops, but this one was different. He never got distracted by his surroundings. There would be a group of people sitting with him, and he'd pay them no mind. And yes, he is kinda cute. However, I was too distracted myself, trying to get my own work done to really worry about Coffee Shop Boy.

And then...he shows up at my workplace. It's funny how different people look in the daylight as opposed to being covered in the sheen of coffee steam and dim lights of night. I stammered doing the standard customer service speech to him. He was distracting. I found myself thinking about it even more. Since I wasn't in a state of disarray in my car in a well-lit public parking space crying to God, I thought He'd appreciate it if I calmly and logically asked Him a question: Should I be paying attention?

And why oh why, did I have to start tripping over myself  trying to talk to him? I talk to many good-looking (and not-so-good-looking men) everyday. How is this any different? I think that if God held out a long pointy stick at this point, He was poking me to get my attention. And once again, I thought of my conversation with a good friend about trusting my gut. I thought to myself that every time I have listened to my gut since the start of these dating adventures, it's been right.

So what happens now? I broke new ground, and it was completely worth it. Want to know more?

That's for the next post. For now, I'll leave you with this: Whether it's the aroma or the hoards of random activity, there is something about coffee shops that help you connect with people in ways you'd never imagine.