All The Fun Stuff Happens After Midnight

Let's face it: even if this never develops, I will forever have this story about me and Coffee Shop Boy. And it's a good story! And here's the thing about good stories: the more they're retold, the more legendary they get.

I was out on a Saturday night, celebrating a friend's birthday...after celebrating another friend's birthday earlier in the day. I assure you, I was extremely tired. So after a few drinks to celebrate another joyous year, I decided it was definitely time to go home. I left the bar and started to walk towards my car. I parked a around the corner from the coffee shop. It was a lovely brisk night, and decided to grab a cup of coffee to go. Needed to warm my body and wake up a bit. I literally reach into my left pocket of my red trench coat when all of a sudden, I felt a buzz.

Who in the world would text me at midnight? Could it be? It was! It was Coffee Shop Boy! I was quite surprised...and all of a sudden not so tired. He asked what I was doing. Oh nothing. Just busy not being tired in the off chance you want to see me. And guess what? He did! He rode his beautiful Triumph from the other side of town to spend some time together. My caramel mocha wasn't calming my nerves or warming me up fast enough. So there I sat, for 15 minutes, enjoying a warm cup filling in my friends on the news of the evening. A million puppies couldn't encourage anymore squees than this news. Good thing I looked cute that night. With the exception of my heel on my boot being broken (which he politely and supposedly didn't notice until I brought it up), I was wearing a red trench coat, a floral skirt, and a turtleneck. Also, I had great hair. Everything was truly coming up roses.

Then there he was, one headlight flashing at me as I sat outside. Like a movie, he removed my helmet and suggested we have a drink or two with him. I really couldn't say anything about that being a bold statement. I'm the one who made a magician give him my phone number, after all. A drink at midnight with a complete stranger? Why not? At that moment, I felt my old, Asian mother yelling in my ear...something about strangers, only bad things happening at midnight, and all. But for some reason, it was okay. I truly believed I wouldn't end up in a ditch somewhere being mistaken for a mannequin.

He didn't have another helmet (which made me sad) so I followed him to a bar I've never been to before. He was even kind enough to wait for me after he ran a yellow light. I drive a car full of German engineering. He seriously underestimates me. So we enter this club where house music is playing. So far so good. I feel kind of foolish though, looking more polished than usual while everyone looks comfortable in club gear. I don't usually look this put together. In fact, my lack of leather and studs made me feel slightly naked. He orders me a Jaeger and Red Bull (no, he didn't ask if I drank Jaeger). I was shocked at his choice, but decided to go with it. What did I have to lose? I drove myself there and could leave if it got terrible. And then the real talk began.

Me: So I didn't scare you by way of magic tricks?
CSB: I was really impressed! I was in a seriously bad mood that day. My ex came in the shop, which was weird, and it made it worse. Next thing I know Andy is walking up to me saying he had to show me a trick.And somehow I have a girl's number in my hand. I failed the online math quiz I was working on three times because I've thought about you all night!
Me: Wow. Well I kind of figured at best you'd be flattered. I was scared to go through with it!
CSB: I'm glad you did though. You're cute. I was looking for you, but you left.

Cue this scene in my head.

I started laughing a little bit. I admitted I ran away just in case. I guess that added to my charm. But let's face it: most people would run away after simply thinking about being so bold to talk to a boy. I definitely needed to run away after going through with it! Now I'm the one who's flattered. More than anything, I was glad that he knew who I was after Andy mentioned a dark-haired girl who played with fire. Here's a tip: We're pretty much all brunettes.

We chatted over another drink. But it flowed naturally. And luckily for me, it was a cold night. He kept putting his hands on my face to warm them up. And eventually his nose on my neck. Have mercy...Oh, don't worry kids. I told him my boundaries. I called him out on being fresh. In fact, I think he might have liked it. He also introduced me to the bouncer who is also his friend. He was this short, troll-looking man with odd piercings and tattoos. Between magicians, fire friends, odd bouncers, and house music, I was feeling at home.

That night, I learned that CSB spent ten years in the Navy, did something involving ratios, is great at math (with the exception of the time I made him fail his math quiz), and has traveled all over the world, worked on planes in spite of having a fear of heights. He also owned two homes, and rents one of them out to some friends and is going to school for IT. What's that? Ten years? So how old is he? I'm 26...he's 33. So does age matter? Not when you're having fun! If he's not worrying about it, I won't either. After two drinks, he grabs my hand.

CSB: Let's go to Kickbacks.

This experience of being adventurous is very different on the other end. I'm usually the one prefacing every conversation with "I have an idea" or "Let's go on an adventure." This guy isn't prefacing anything. He's making me live it with him.

We showed up less than five minutes until the kitchen close and he randomly ordered us chili cheese fries. He unwrapped the silverware for me, and placed it neatly on my right side. Every now and then he would try to warm his nose. It was sweet. And throughout the night, I was glad I had great hair. He couldn't stop playing with it. Ladies, unless he's a creeper, you KNOW we love when men play with our hair. Every time I would pull it up, he'd pull out my hair tie. He said it looks much better down. Wow. How did we even get to this point, I wondered. So we chatted over some overly saturated fried food, and then it hit me:

It was almost 4 in the morning, and everything about this random date felt natural. He didn't try to get me in bed at this hour and I'd venture to say we both didn't want the evening to end. Still, he knew I was tired, grabbed my hand and helped me off a high-top stool. He lived around the corner from the late-night dinner, so we walked to his place where I parked my car. We hugged and said good night. He asked me to let him know when I got home. I couldn't stop smiling. I thanked him for everything. He took care of me that night...as much as one could be taken care of at midnight by taking a chance with a total stranger.

Once again, I proved to thine own self be true: I defied convention. Instead of thumbing through a catalog of random, uninteresting men online, meeting for drinks and forced conversation, I decided to take a huge risk and carve a dent into my destiny. Look, I don't know where this is going. But I like it anyway. Kerrie was right: trust your gut and you'll never fail.

Well, look at this...he still has my hair tie. And his nose is cold. I guess we're both fixing this problem very soon.

I have big hopes to hold on tight on a wintery evening.

Have Mercy!

Isn't this typically the emotion one feels when they're in the grasp of being extremely twitterpated? I mean...look at this. Any child of the 90's remembers the fabulously coiffed Uncle Jesse from Full House. Have mercy, he would beg. And can you blame him? Becky was a hot beast by 90's standards. I have discovered the stage in dating where one is teetering on the line between really falling for someone through the hot and heavy, and saying the Lord's Prayer: Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Well, not all evil. I can't be good all the time...

I can't emphasize it enough: there is no pressure to give in on either end with me and One Good Man. However I truly believe that resistance is futile. This is where we fail at dating: we fail to realize a good thing and to go for it. The main problem is that the word "good" is relative. Sure, what if the making out is good...but does that mean he's a keeper? At best, he is a keeper for now if that's all he has going for him. Women aren't used to be treated with respect. I'm going to give you a piece of advice. Ladies: date someone who has a younger sister. You can tell a lot about a man by how he treats his mother. However, see how he talks about and treats his younger sister. It'll give you a glimpse into what to expect.

Anyway, sometimes mercy needs to come naturally. Dating is quite unatural to begin with, so we have to take little steps to make it easier on ourselves.

Let me tell you a story: I tend to be fairly brash. Not confrontational. Trust me there is a difference. I ended up calling out this guy who would turn out to be my boyfriend. He kept beating around the bush and simply wouldn't admit that he liked me. So after encouraging him to drink his courage elixir at the bar, I demanded that he tell me what was on his mind. "You have something to tell me," I said. With major hesitation he confessed he had feelings for me. Don't worry, I returned the favor and told him I liked him too. I'm not that mean! He didn't like being forced into this confession. Here's how the rest of the conversation went:

Me: I'm helping! It's not good to hold in your feelings! I'm your angel of mercy!
Him: THEN PUT ME DOWN!

I guess I could've been so kind as to let him down gently. The moral of this story is that you have to be willing to give into your feelings, and you can't force someone to give into theirs. Trust me, I obviously tried and I think that set the tone for the rest of our relationship. You simply can't force anything that isn't there and isn't going to work. I also think I scared him...I will try not to do that anymore. No promises.

So where do I stand now? Well, temptation is fun to give into but only if both parties are on the same page. It's so much more fun that way! This is where I get that feeling of no pressure. If he's right there and I'm right there, it's only fireworks from here...at least for the moment. In dating, all you can really do is seize the moment anyway.

And this is more than a sexual assumption. It keeps going back to trusting your gut. During this process I've learned to listen to it, converse with it, reach a mutual understanding with it. Although me and my instincts are getting along, it's still a very complicated relationship. I'm definitely out of my comfort zone and yet there is a small amount of comfort knowing that I don't feel forced, nor am I forcing anything else. Women, we have intuition for a reason. It's not only for protection. We also have to use it to nurture. Men seem to dig that kind of thing.

In the meantime, this song sums it up perfectly.
I'm begging