Prepare yourself for copious amounts of analogies in this post.
This was, indeed, just a date. I hate saying this because it sounds so typical: he was...is...a really nice guy. He's just not right for me. No, he's not even "second date to see if it gets better" right for me. The worst part to me is that I think he is into this way more than I am.
We met at a restaurant five minutes close to where I live, just in case it was absolutely terrible.And no, he doesn't know that. His picture didn't lie. He was indeed very cute and well-kept. Then he opened his mouth. The first thought I had was, "he's just a kid." I know three years isn't a big difference in time, but for maturity and life experience, it really kinda is. I kept trying to give him a chance. He's got his act together, which is nice, I thought. And he's ambitious! But he kept talking. I assure you we had a great conversation. We went to a bar afterwards. I got a beer and he got a milkshake. Again, I kept trying to believe he was datable.
Here are the reasons he's not:
- His unhealthy obsession with anime and the fact that he told me point blank that he will change that (no, this is just a date, friend)
- The overuse of the word bro and every variation of bro in every other sentence ("we bro out" "my bros" "my main bro"). And he even alluded that I was like a bro.
- He admitted to
- He is obsessed with Bridezillas
- He didn't walk me out after the date. HUGE letdown.
Call me mean but I am going to be conveniently busy for awhile. I don't know how to let him down easy. Again, we had a great conversation, but I feel like it was like any other conversation I could've had with my guy friends. That, and I need a man with a backbone. How did I describe this guy's personality to my friends? Remember my line last post about Dating Darwinism?
"If I was stuck on a life raft lost at sea with only one oar, I wouldn't want to be stuck with him. He'd hold us back from survival and would just annoy the tar out of me."
He could not and would not survive the wild terrain with me! The cruel beasts of nature would weaken him further and I would be left alone once again. There is a certain need to survive when you date. Don't get me wrong. I don't think I need to freeze my eggs at this point because of one bad date. He was polite, nice, and we had a great conversation. He just wasn't right for me.
So here we go again about what it is I need: a mix of an alpha male, ambitious, funny, well-kept but a little scruff is fine, family is important to him, positive, slightly nerdy, and adventurous.
Do you know how difficult this is to find online? I finally concluded that online dating is like shopping through a Victoria's Secret catalog. You see something interesting and cute, decide to buy it, wait for it to arrive with anxious anticipation, try it on, and it looks a lot better on paper than it does on you. And returning it is going to be a hassle no matter what.
So I have decided that online dating and organically meeting someone isn't working for me right now. I think the only way I'm going to meet my next great date is by accidentally setting him on fire. I think what I'm trying to say is that it's only going to be by chance, not force, that I meet the one. I've never been patient either. There are many things I am reassessing in my life right now, and this is definitely one of them.
One day, I will find my knight in hard leather, ready to take me on his motorcycle for ice cream after handing me a single pink rose, and telling me a Chuck Norris joke. In essence, a funny Jason Statham. Accent a perk, but not required.
